Autumnal Leaves: A Metaphor for Cross-Cultural Relationship Building & Awareness
The metaphor I will use for cross-cultural relationship is autumnal leaves. When thinking about autumnal leaves, there are a few facts that I want to point out about them. Their vibrancy and beauty of colors varies among each tree species; Red Maples are scarlet, Sugar Maples are red-orange, oaks turn red or brown or a combination and often Aspen are golden. Fall colors are at their peak after many warm days with cool nights. Additionally, different species develop and change their colors at a faster or slower process; often oaks do not begin to change colors until other species have completely dropped their leaves. Lastly, fallen leaves are vital to a forest’s ecosystem because they provide safety for tree seeds to germinate during winter.
Knowing these facts about autumnal leaves informs me and reminds me of cross-cultural relationship building in many ways. When building a relationship with someone cross-culturally, it is important to value that person and their story individually. Like autumn tree leaves, people in any context are not alike. I have learned due to my “sheltered” upbringing that I was taught to have a xenophobic lens. For example, I will recently heard my parents refer to someone wearing a Turbin as a terrorist or see them turn their noses up to homosexuals in general. Unfortunately, that way of seeing people really used to affect how I would see people who were different from me. It is ironic because I grew up as one of four individuals in my community of color so I should have more compassion. But what I didn’t know was that I was not stopping or taking time to invest people and discover their true beauty and humanness. Many people talk about the paralyzing fear of the unknown and the only way to erase that fear is to build positive relationships with people who are different from you, to truly walk life with them and empower them and have them empower you into the things they are most passionate for.
It also important to consider how relationships develop and what they look like. Like autumn leaves that develop at different rates; relationships develop over a course of time and will look different depending on culture and environment. Many people often say to me because I lived in so many cities that it must be easy for me to develop new friends or that I can use the exact same projects and initiatives in these new places of dwelling. However, that is not the case. In Seattle, I worked with two populations of youth. One was directly in a high school and the other at church on youth night. Both of these youth populations were in Rainier Beach, an area with the highest poverty rates in Seattle and has a reputation of being violent. The students at the high school were very easy to get along with, I would come in everyday and I would be able to have all these amazing conversations with youth from all over the world. (Rainier Beach is located in Rainier Valley which is among the most ethnically diverse neighborhoods in the United States.) However, when I went to youth night, students were very stand offish and intimidating. They wanted nothing to do with me. It was alarming at times. Later when the students started wanting to hang outside of youth night or when we had deep conversations on the way to their houses, I just realized that maybe the environment of a church coupled with interacting with these students on a once a week basis ( maybe) was what made our relationships develop at such different speeds.
Most profound to me in developing relationships cross-culturally is how to use brokenness or loss individually or within a community as a way to overcome and develop resiliency. Often when something horrific happens, people shut down. Maybe they loose hope or wonder if their lives matter. However like fallen tree leaves, just because loss or brokenness has occurred, that does not mean someone is void of purpose. In fact their loss or brokenness could be a growth process because of their journey through healing. I am not devaluing brokenness or loss, we all have it and I have become well acquainted with it myself. However resiliency and the making of newness despite loss is crucial to survival. Recently the students who I work with put small mirrors all over a casket to memorialize deaths of black and brown youth in their community and world but to also to see ourselves and the trauma that brings. These youth held a BLOC party where they demanded higher views of themselves both by the city of Seattle and their personal expectations of self. That day the seed of hope was planted and re-planted in participants and on-lookers because through loss these youth were able to find vibrance and the ability to share their stories and ultimately continue in the process of personal and communal healing.
Knowing these facts about autumnal leaves informs me and reminds me of cross-cultural relationship building in many ways. When building a relationship with someone cross-culturally, it is important to value that person and their story individually. Like autumn tree leaves, people in any context are not alike. I have learned due to my “sheltered” upbringing that I was taught to have a xenophobic lens. For example, I will recently heard my parents refer to someone wearing a Turbin as a terrorist or see them turn their noses up to homosexuals in general. Unfortunately, that way of seeing people really used to affect how I would see people who were different from me. It is ironic because I grew up as one of four individuals in my community of color so I should have more compassion. But what I didn’t know was that I was not stopping or taking time to invest people and discover their true beauty and humanness. Many people talk about the paralyzing fear of the unknown and the only way to erase that fear is to build positive relationships with people who are different from you, to truly walk life with them and empower them and have them empower you into the things they are most passionate for.
It also important to consider how relationships develop and what they look like. Like autumn leaves that develop at different rates; relationships develop over a course of time and will look different depending on culture and environment. Many people often say to me because I lived in so many cities that it must be easy for me to develop new friends or that I can use the exact same projects and initiatives in these new places of dwelling. However, that is not the case. In Seattle, I worked with two populations of youth. One was directly in a high school and the other at church on youth night. Both of these youth populations were in Rainier Beach, an area with the highest poverty rates in Seattle and has a reputation of being violent. The students at the high school were very easy to get along with, I would come in everyday and I would be able to have all these amazing conversations with youth from all over the world. (Rainier Beach is located in Rainier Valley which is among the most ethnically diverse neighborhoods in the United States.) However, when I went to youth night, students were very stand offish and intimidating. They wanted nothing to do with me. It was alarming at times. Later when the students started wanting to hang outside of youth night or when we had deep conversations on the way to their houses, I just realized that maybe the environment of a church coupled with interacting with these students on a once a week basis ( maybe) was what made our relationships develop at such different speeds.
Most profound to me in developing relationships cross-culturally is how to use brokenness or loss individually or within a community as a way to overcome and develop resiliency. Often when something horrific happens, people shut down. Maybe they loose hope or wonder if their lives matter. However like fallen tree leaves, just because loss or brokenness has occurred, that does not mean someone is void of purpose. In fact their loss or brokenness could be a growth process because of their journey through healing. I am not devaluing brokenness or loss, we all have it and I have become well acquainted with it myself. However resiliency and the making of newness despite loss is crucial to survival. Recently the students who I work with put small mirrors all over a casket to memorialize deaths of black and brown youth in their community and world but to also to see ourselves and the trauma that brings. These youth held a BLOC party where they demanded higher views of themselves both by the city of Seattle and their personal expectations of self. That day the seed of hope was planted and re-planted in participants and on-lookers because through loss these youth were able to find vibrance and the ability to share their stories and ultimately continue in the process of personal and communal healing.