Personal Prejudice
It is a tough pill to swallow, this personal prejudice of mine. I want to accept everyone, no matter what. But the reality is that my acceptance of gay, lesbian, queer and transgender folks is purely surface level. In my heart and mind I am completely a homophobe. That is so wrong! I am supposed to PC and have a progressive hipster-like outlook on life, but with this I cannot get past how I was raised to believe.
When I took the Sexuality Implicit Social Attitudes Test, I received a strong preference of heterosexual people over homosexual. This was not difficult to imagine, but it is difficult to admit. And what I admitting here is that I am in my car, ahead of me is a sign that reads "Road to Recovery from Homophobia" and I am not even sure I want to drive down it. This must be how white folks feel when they are unaware of their privledge or racism. I have many good friends who are gay men but just like white folks who have black friends or even marry interracially, it does not mean there is not an implicit bias like a sleeping lion within us. When it comes to lesbian women, I know a few and have some general aquainatences with them. I have to admit I am greatly more uncomfortable with developing friendships with lesbians.
I very much related to the video about the Schema Theory when they said, "If a schema is triggered during the moment of learning, that learning is more perminent." I believe the in-group that I am apart of greatly influenced my schema towards homosexuals. I hate to admit that I continue to ascribe to fundamental baptist ideals but apparently I have not done legitimate work in the area of relating to people outside of heterosexuality as I thought I had.
I realize that just because I grew up in the same in-group as my relatives, does not necessarily mean that I belong there. This could be true for anyone but because "The Nature of Prejudice" desribes in groups as this, " In every society on earth the child is regaurded as a member of his parents' groups. He belongs to the same race, stock, family, tradition, religion, caste and occupational status." Though I do not belong to my parents' race , as being someone of mixed race adopted into a white family, I still inherit some of their loyalties and prejudices as Gordon Allport claims. I have no doubt that growing up whether it was intentional or not, I was raised to be and as if I was white. As an adult, I know I am not solely white and furthermore I am not read by society as white. I have adopted my own family ingroup based on multi-cultural, mixed race and black ideals. However, I still prescribe to some of the schemas my parent's taught me. I am mad about that and yet I am reluctant to change because I do not want to be seen as any more different and weird than I already am among my family.
I would like to move towards changing and reconciling this prejudice. I have seen other friends who like me did not agree with homosexuality because of their religion and never quite vocalized it to their friends who were gay. When it came time for these friends to stand in their gay friend's weddings , they had to finally admitt that they did not approve of this lifestyle and it was heartbreaking for both people to walk away from that friendship. I do not want to experience that. Instead I'd like to have open, honest conversations with my freinds who are gay and apologize for the bias I've held. I want to come to a place where I accept all sexual expressions, maybe not in a way where I full-heartedly agree but at least in a way where I can support that person in a genuine way. At the end of the day, God is love and He does love and accept us no matter our state. I could learn to do the same and want to.
References
Allport, G. W. (1958). The nature of prejudice: Abridged. Garden City, NY: Doubleday.
McClary, J. (n.d.). Schema Theory Example. Retrieved December 12, 2016, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4HHCgFmkcI
When I took the Sexuality Implicit Social Attitudes Test, I received a strong preference of heterosexual people over homosexual. This was not difficult to imagine, but it is difficult to admit. And what I admitting here is that I am in my car, ahead of me is a sign that reads "Road to Recovery from Homophobia" and I am not even sure I want to drive down it. This must be how white folks feel when they are unaware of their privledge or racism. I have many good friends who are gay men but just like white folks who have black friends or even marry interracially, it does not mean there is not an implicit bias like a sleeping lion within us. When it comes to lesbian women, I know a few and have some general aquainatences with them. I have to admit I am greatly more uncomfortable with developing friendships with lesbians.
I very much related to the video about the Schema Theory when they said, "If a schema is triggered during the moment of learning, that learning is more perminent." I believe the in-group that I am apart of greatly influenced my schema towards homosexuals. I hate to admit that I continue to ascribe to fundamental baptist ideals but apparently I have not done legitimate work in the area of relating to people outside of heterosexuality as I thought I had.
I realize that just because I grew up in the same in-group as my relatives, does not necessarily mean that I belong there. This could be true for anyone but because "The Nature of Prejudice" desribes in groups as this, " In every society on earth the child is regaurded as a member of his parents' groups. He belongs to the same race, stock, family, tradition, religion, caste and occupational status." Though I do not belong to my parents' race , as being someone of mixed race adopted into a white family, I still inherit some of their loyalties and prejudices as Gordon Allport claims. I have no doubt that growing up whether it was intentional or not, I was raised to be and as if I was white. As an adult, I know I am not solely white and furthermore I am not read by society as white. I have adopted my own family ingroup based on multi-cultural, mixed race and black ideals. However, I still prescribe to some of the schemas my parent's taught me. I am mad about that and yet I am reluctant to change because I do not want to be seen as any more different and weird than I already am among my family.
I would like to move towards changing and reconciling this prejudice. I have seen other friends who like me did not agree with homosexuality because of their religion and never quite vocalized it to their friends who were gay. When it came time for these friends to stand in their gay friend's weddings , they had to finally admitt that they did not approve of this lifestyle and it was heartbreaking for both people to walk away from that friendship. I do not want to experience that. Instead I'd like to have open, honest conversations with my freinds who are gay and apologize for the bias I've held. I want to come to a place where I accept all sexual expressions, maybe not in a way where I full-heartedly agree but at least in a way where I can support that person in a genuine way. At the end of the day, God is love and He does love and accept us no matter our state. I could learn to do the same and want to.
References
Allport, G. W. (1958). The nature of prejudice: Abridged. Garden City, NY: Doubleday.
McClary, J. (n.d.). Schema Theory Example. Retrieved December 12, 2016, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4HHCgFmkcI